Texts from Shibusen
by ChildrenAreMySoulFood
Summary: Exactly what the title says. Short conversations or random things the characters of soul eater have said to one another. T for language and possible implications.
1. Chapter 1

From: Tsubaki

To: BlackStar

Tsubaki: The irony of calling it pride is you do things no one should be proud of.

.-.-.-.-.-.-

From: Kid

To: Patty

Kid: Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the titanic soundtrack

Patty: what kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

From: Spirit

To: Stein

Spirit: We made out for three hours then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-..-

From: Patty

To: Liz

Patty: i wish they made sweatshirts for legs

Liz: you mean pants?

.-.-.-.-.-.-

From: BlackStar

To: Everyone (mass text)

BlackStar: if the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit

.-..-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

From: Maka

To: everyone

Maka: I smell like gasoline and adventure.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

From: Liz

To: Maka

Liz: So what color is the dress you picked out?

Maka: fuckweasel

Liz: And what color is that, exactly?

Maka: FUSCHIA hahaha

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

From: BlackStar

To: Soul

BlackStar: I don't know how to make you forgive me. I've apologized a thousand times. What more do you want?

Soul: Actions speak louder than wombats.

Soul: *waffles

Soul: **wands

Soul: GOD DAMN IT woooorrrddds. Still mad at you.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

From: Soul

To: Blair

Soul: If you were an X-man, what would your power be?

Blair: I would shoot lasers from my boobs.


	2. So for some reason you guys like this?

**Dammit I should be working on the next chapter of Broken world but instead I continued this like the fuck Child. **

**Also ignore the inconsistency of the line breaks but does it really matter**?

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

From: Kid

To: Liz

Kid: I'M A PIECE OF TRASH

Liz: As someone who cares deeply about the environment, I am obligated to pick you up. Is eight okay?

Kid: You smooth fucker.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

From: Soul

To: Blair

Soul: You sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"

Blair: Did I?

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

From: BlackStar

To: Soul, Kid

BlackStar: You don't understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now

.-.-.-.-.-.-.

From: Patty

To: BlackStar

Patty: Are we still banned from the library?

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

From: Chrona

To: Ragnarok (yes it has a phone)

Chrona: The last thing I remember is you screaming "lets hunt humans"

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

From: Arachne (and her weird dress)

To: Asura

Arachne: Do you still need to be saved?

Asura: No I think I'm God

.-.-.-.-.-.-..-

From: Kid

To: Death

Kid: You're completely useless in the revolution

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

From: Medusa

To: Stein

Medusa: Sick fucks of a feather flock together

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

From: Spirit

To: Stein

Spirit: Who do you think you are, running around leaving scars,

in the middle of the night while I was asleep and

oh god what even were those experiments stein

you creepy bastard I mean what the fuck

(This one I remember where it's from: intrusivesubplots on tumblr)

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

From: Giriko

To: Mosquito

Giriko: just got yelled at by a priest...again.

.-.-.-.-.-..-.-.

From: Maka

To: Everyone

Maka: DID NEIL ARMSTRONG SAY THE MOON WAS TOO FAR AWAY?

NO!

HE BUILT HIMSELF A FUCKING ROCKET SHIP IS WHAT HE DID!

Tsubaki: This literally holds no significance to the situation at hand.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.


	3. Should I rate this M or something?

**]HFDHBJDBDHJFRJBHFEBHJHJHDFJBFDBHJFDHBJDFJBFRJBRF **

**Ignore the random text up there^^**

**Decided to update this shit again while suffering from bad-at-writing-fight scenes-itis**

**WARNING: not for the weak side of this fandom**

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

From: Kid

To: BlackStar

Kid: YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST

BlackStar: I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

(MANGASPOILERSSORRY)

From: Marie

To: Azusa

Marie: there comes a time in a woman's life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil

Azusa: you're pregnant aren't you?

.-.-.-..-.-.-.-.-.-.

From: Spirit

To: Maka

Spirit: I expect an hourly text assuring me you are alive and not face down in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse

.-.-.-.-.-.-..-.-

From: Tsubaki

To: Liz, Patty, Soul, Kid, Maka

Tsubaki: BLACKSTAR HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

.-.-.-.-.-.-..-.-

From: Eruka

To: Free

Eruka: I don't know where I am but it's a goosebumps novel waiting to happen.

.-.-.-.-.-..-..-.

From: Maka

To: Soul

Maka: iiiiiiiii almost fall ib the laaaake

Soul: are you drunk again

Maka: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

..-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

From: BlackStar

To: Soul

BlackStar: we enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together

Soul: i dIDNT WE GOT SHOT AFTERWARDS

.-.-.-.-.-.-

From: Eruka

To: Free

Eruka: please pick me up I think I just joined a gang

.-.-..-.-.-.-.-

**Not as good as the other chapters. If you can, PM me funny texts you've seen, read, or even been a part of. I need help there's only so many texts I can use that don't involve sex or shit like that, IGNORING THE ONE WITH MARIE...**


End file.
